lobster enemas

Wow, I've been working like a maniac, and it is definitely affecting my blogging time. How dare they! Humph.

So, you guys are intrigued by the lobster poo, are ya? Well, apparently the peeps in my deparment are hellbent on not cleaning the lobster tank. We have to take the lobsters out of their tank and put them in their own little "bath" in the hopes that it will enduce a bowel movement. No, I am not making this up. And the whole time, the lobster is looking at you and waving his rubber-banded claws around like "How am I supposed to shit with you assholes staring at me?"

Not kidding at all.

Then after waiting a few moments, you put the lobster back in the tank and proceed with the next victim. No one could tell me what lobster doo-doo actually looks like so who knows where this plan came from. Who wants to bet a man made it up?

Also, in case I haven't mentioned it before (which I can't believe), I am a big Big BIG Steelers (or Stillers if you're from here) fan. This will become painfully obvious in about a month when the season begins and I turn into a maniac. I'm sorry, but it can't be helped. Just pray that I'm too busy with school and work to barrage you with weekly recaps.

Now, for those still paying attention...




Lookie lookie - it's Lelah!

PATTERN: Lelah by Christine (size Small)
YARN: Unknown, but suspected cotton/acrylic mix with a nylon thread
NEEDLES: US 7s for lace and US 5s for stockinette and straps
MODS: Added an extra lace repeat for length, decreased extra stitches in stockinette part to account for my small rack, and obviously added straps. The straps themselves are modified from the fishtail lace pattern, although it doesn't show up well on the size 5 needles.
REVIEW: So much cuter than I expected! I love this pattern, but I thought the yarn I was using was gonna make it look like poo. I was desperate to use this yarn up though, so I persisted and am muy happy with the FO.


Okay, me tired. Must rest to have energy for fishies tomorrow....  ¶ 21:14

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  Something's Fishy

I know you all remember the blog of old. The blog where you came to expect FOs on a frequent basis. When I was nearing the completion of Lucky, I envisioned completing Lelah quickly enough to make you all coo "oooo, Tara's still got it."

Well, no. She doesn't.

And I also know that picture-less posts are boooooring unless the writer is all witty, which I do not claim to be. Apologies, apologies. You can leave now if you'd like.

The truth is that I'm *this* close to finishing Lelah. I just have this little issue to work out about adding straps because I think the yarn I used just doesn't jive with the "original" strapless version. So there's alot of knitting and trying on going on because I'm too lazy to sit down and actually plan something out.

In the meantime, I have one more class session to go before I'm done with my first teaching class! Woo to the hoo! And I've also landed me a jobby job. Nothing too prestigious or anything, but it's a blast. I'm not naming names (but if you're dying to know, email me) but I'm working for a national grocery chain that sells lots of natural and organic products. Yours truly is earning her living by cutting up fishies all day. I know you all probably think I'm nuts, but I'm telling ya it is FUN. And anything that involves getting dirty is cool by me. And the people there just flat out rock.

So until I have another FO to show you (and I promise it will be soon), I've got a meme from Laurie.

10 years ago... Oh my god, the summer before my senior year of high school! Can't believe it was that long ago. Basically just spent the summer losing my virginity (TMI?) and getting ready for volleyball season in the fall (yes, I'm a munchkin but I played volleyball). Fun stuff.

5 years ago... I had just graduated from Penn State and moved to San Francisco. Actually I'd been living there for about a month, and I think I'd already met Joe by then although I didn't allow him to claim me for his own until about November. I'm such a tease.... hee hee.

1 year ago... Had been living in Pittsburgh for about 2 months and enjoying the unemployed life. Nothing but a summer of leisure, baby!

Yesterday... Worked at the new job. Learned how to make lobsters poop (I'm not joking). Tried riding my bike to work, which is probably less than a mile away, and realized how horribly out of shape I am. Drank lots of wine to make up for it when I got home.

Today... Went to class and laughed at what That Girl was wearing AGAIN. Came home and realized that Baby Dog has diarrhea. Fun all around.

Tomorrow... Sweet relief! No work and no class. I may have to spend time finishing my final project for Wednesday's class, but I envision lots of knitting and sitting on my bum. And hopefully going to get the new Harry Potter - FINALLY! Ahhhhhh.

5 snacks I enjoy... CHEESE (my fave by far), pickles, popcorn, chips, and .....hmmm, more cheese?

5 bands/singers that I like... Obviously that would include Chris Cornell (and Audioslave, Soundgarden, and Temple of the Dog), Prince, 2Pac, The Distillers, Eva Cassidy, Outkast, AC/DC, and Madonna. Oops, that's not 5, huh? My bad.

Things I would do with $100,000,000... Pay off all my debts (and Joe's and my parents'), buy a house (or 5) and my own Rowan factory, take my Dirties on the most fabulous vacation and travel my bum off.

5 locations I'd like to run away to... How about places I'd like to visit? Italy, Greece, Egypt, Kenya or South Africa, and India are on the top of my list, but I'll go just about anywhere.

5 bad habits I have... swearing, short temper, not washing my bed sheets often enough (TMI again!), forgetting to return people's calls, and not keeping good financial records

5 things I like doing... knitting (DUH), playing with my dogs, cooking/eating, going to concerts, seeing the Dirty Girls

5 things I would never wear... shoulder pads, tight anks, penny loafers, fur, and anything that has to do with the Cleveland Browns

5 TV shows I like... like new ones? Nip/Tuck, The OC, CSI (Vegas).....gosh, that's it. But if we're counting reruns, Buffy and The Golden Girls for sure, yo!

5 Movies I like.... Grease, all the Indiana Jones movies, Tombstone, anything with Molly Ringwold, Animal House, Spider-Man....I could go on.

5 famous people I'd like to meet... I definitely don't have 5. Barry Bonds because I've loved him since I was 8. Anne Rice because I bet she's wicked cool. And Tupac Shakur because I think he could've been a revolutionary. Okay, and Chris Cornell so I could attempt to molest him. Ha!

5 biggest joys of the moment... warm weather and thunderstorms, my doggies, spending time with Joe, thinking about football season being just a month away, FINISHING LUCKY!!!

5 favorite toys... does my yarn stash count? And my Toyota RAV -4 since it's the first car that is MINE, my sewing machine, and my kickass cookware (thanks mom and dad!)

I'm tagging Tanya (b/c she's the funniest knitblogger out there), Cathi (b/c she's one hot mama), and Winnie (b/c I hope at least one of her answers has to deal with bodily functions!). Have fun chicas!  ¶ 17:59

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  the L Word

I really don't know how to intro this one. You guys have all heard my bellyaching about this one for so long that I'm sure that, like me, you're just glad it's DONE.





Presenting...
PATTERN: Lucky Clover Wrap (SNBN)YARN: Rowan 4-ply (color: allure), about 7.5 ballsNEEDLES: US2 Inox circularsMODS: Oh goodness, lemme see. I did tubular cast on (which isn't a mod, I guess, but something I learned), knit the sleeves straight (76 stitches from cuff to cap) so they're not that bell-y, lengthened the sleeves about 1.5" and the body by about 1". Think that's it.REVIEW: Love, love, love the sweater. Absolutely positively will wear it constantly once it's not sweat-your-balls-off hot outside (and yes, that is a technical term). That being said, it was an absolute pain in the tooshie to knit. Maybe those Heinz people are onto something with that "good things come to those who wait"...

Wanna see more?



I'm so glad I frogged this sweater because it fits great now. Even Joe was impressed with this FO, and believe me that's a cause to celebrate. Usually the only comments he makes about my knitting tend to point out the obvious (that my stash has taken over our spare room). Oops. Why did he think I wanted a 2 bedroom anyway???







And just in case you wanted to see the back, the tubular cast on, and the neckbands...

















The neckband's in place! Thank yarn for you, Winnie, because I think I would've put my head through the wall without your tips!!!






AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (C'mon, exhale with me!)


And that's all I have to say about that.  ¶ 08:40

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  Back to School

Now that my first week as a student is under my belt, there are a few things that I've learned that I'd like to share with the class (that would be you guys).


LESSON #1 - There's always an annoying person (or 5) in class.

I know you guys are like DUH right now, but I'd forgotten, okay? I'd forgotten about That Girl who raises her hand every 5 fucking seconds to say something that someone else had already pointed out just so that teacher doesn't forget about her, who needs to make it painfully obvious to the teacher that she did her assignment, who annoys the living crap out of everyone else in the class. I went to high school with one of those girls, and let me tell you that it was a sweet day when I beat that bitch out for class valedictorian because she couldn't do derivatives and integrals.

And by the way, That Girl came to class today wearing a collared shirt under a sweater (hello, it's 90 degrees outside, genius!) and the collar was flipped up. Excuse me? If you're not in a black leather jacket saying "Heeeeeey" and giving 2 thumbs up to Mr. Cunningham, then you have no right to be walking around with a flipped-up collar. Good grief.


LESSON #2 - Throw rope toys away before Baby Dog starts eating them.

I know that rope toys are for chewing, but the 4-legged eating machine I live with thinks they're mighty tasty. It's all funny when he's walking around the apartment with strings hanging out his mouth like spaghetti, but when he has a foot-long piece of clumpy-poo-string hanging out of his ass.......well, it's damn funny then too. Actually, Joe's still trying to teach me why Lesson 2 is important because I enjoy comic relief like that during my day.


LESSON #3 - Chasing a turkey down the road with a camera may be viewed as an act of insanity

Okay, I obviously didn't learn the hidden lesson of Lesson #2 (take camera with me EVERYWHERE), but you can bet your sweet asses that I full on sprinted back to my apartment for the camera when I saw this:



Now keep in mind that I live in the CITY. Granted, Pittsburgh is small and surrounded by lots and lots of trees, but where did this thing come from? According to my father The Hunter, some people keep them as pets. Ummmm.....until Thanksgiving? Regardless, some neighbors whom I've never met now think I'm a crazy girl who likes to chase poultry down the street.


LESSON #4 - Beer and Buffy make k1p1 ribbing bearable

A Preview of What's to Come...

  ¶ 09:39

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  It's been so long

Man, it feels like ages since I've posted! I really didn't intend for this to happen, but it's been a bit chaotic since we got back.

Where to begin?

For starters, there's something keeping me from finishing Lucky. Namely, the 9 miles of k1p1 neckband. Good god, why didn't someone warn me about this? I've got her all seamed up (including the shorter k1p1 band) and I've even woven in some ends, but this neckband is boring me to tears. Hello, comic relief.....

Because I have the maturity level of a 10 year old, my cubicle was filled with stuffed animals and other random trinkets. So this little guy (appropriately named Pittsbug) and company are now seeking new homes. Or at least a safe haven from the jaws of Baby Dog and Georgie Beans.

As you can see, I still have approximately 8.9 miles of neckband to go.

Before we left, I casted on for Lelah. Originally, I decided to do the medium, but somewhere between Pittsburgh and our layover in Orlando, I realized she was too big. Rip rip rip! I didn't get much knitting done on the trip, but here's where she stands. (And in case you were wondering, she is being modeled by our dog-poop-bag container.)


I'm not loving this yarn, but I need to use it up. In the end, I think it will be okay but not as cute as some of the other Lelahs out there. *sob*

So you want to hear about the trip? Yes? No? In short, it was a blast. No surprises there because I think it's impossible to go to NOLA and not have any fun. It's like a rule or something. Yours truly was drunk every day by 1PM (meaning I had 2 beers with lunch) and then spent an hour or two napping by the pool before venturing out again.

Some of the highlights:

• raw oysters, po boys, and crawfish at the Acme Oyster House
• beignets at Cafe du Monde (good for breakfast and in-between-meal munchies)
• fried chicken at Fiorella's
• muffaletta's at Central Grocery (thank you, Lauren!)

Hmmmm, those all have to do with food. Funny that.

Other stuff we did:

• walking ghost/vampire tour in the French Quarter
• drink beers and watch people karaoke at Cat's Meow
• ride the St. Charles streetcar
• shop on Magazine Street (oh how I wish Pittsburgh had a Buffalo Exchange)

I think that's it, but for some reason, my memory is failing me. Imagine that.

Well, I need to go get ready to get my learn on! I'll see y'ins later!

  ¶ 09:58

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